{"id":32600,"date":"2026-03-21T03:15:41","date_gmt":"2026-03-21T02:15:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/co-delat-kdyz-mi-sef-neveri\/"},"modified":"2026-03-21T03:15:41","modified_gmt":"2026-03-21T02:15:41","slug":"co-delat-kdyz-mi-sef-neveri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/co-delat-kdyz-mi-sef-neveri\/","title":{"rendered":"Co d\u011blat, kdy\u017e mi \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kdy\u017e \u010dlov\u011bk za\u010dne \u0159e\u0161it, co d\u011blat, kdy\u017e mi \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed<\/strong>, m\u00e1lokdy jde jen o jeden nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00fd rozhovor. \u010cast\u011bji je to stav, kter\u00fd se za\u010dne propisovat do b\u011b\u017en\u00e9ho fungov\u00e1n\u00ed – v\u00edce kontrol, m\u00e9n\u011b prostoru, opatrn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed komunikace, pot\u0159eba se obhajovat i tam, kde to d\u0159\u00edv nebylo nutn\u00e9. Probl\u00e9m nen\u00ed jen v tom, \u017ee je to nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9. Probl\u00e9m je, \u017ee dlouhodob\u00e1 ned\u016fv\u011bra m\u011bn\u00ed va\u0161e rozhodov\u00e1n\u00ed, v\u00fdkon i oporu ve vlastn\u00edm \u00fasudku.<\/p>\n

Co se skute\u010dn\u011b d\u011bje, kdy\u017e v\u00e1m \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed<\/h2>\n

Ned\u016fv\u011bra na pracovi\u0161ti neb\u00fdv\u00e1 jen osobn\u00ed pocit. M\u00e1 konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed podobu. \u0160\u00e9f si ov\u011b\u0159uje informace mimo v\u00e1s, zpochyb\u0148uje va\u0161e odhady, vrac\u00ed \u00fakoly k p\u0159epracov\u00e1n\u00ed bez jasn\u00e9ho zad\u00e1n\u00ed, chce b\u00fdt u v\u0161eho, nebo naopak p\u0159estane sv\u011b\u0159ovat d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 v\u011bci. N\u011bkdy to \u0159ekne p\u0159\u00edmo. \u010cast\u011bji to pozn\u00e1te z drobn\u00fdch posun\u016f v chov\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Prvn\u00ed chyba b\u00fdv\u00e1 snaha situaci rychle opravit t\u00edm, \u017ee budete pracovat je\u0161t\u011b v\u00edc, reagovat rychleji a vysv\u011btlovat ka\u017ed\u00fd detail. To m\u016f\u017ee kr\u00e1tkodob\u011b ulevit, ale ne v\u017edy to obnov\u00ed d\u016fv\u011bru. Pokud je probl\u00e9m v dynamice vztahu, samotn\u00e9 p\u0159id\u00e1n\u00ed v\u00fdkonu nesta\u010d\u00ed. N\u011bkdy naopak pos\u00edl\u00ed dojem, \u017ee jste pod tlakem, nejist\u00ed nebo \u017ee n\u011bco “has\u00edte”.<\/p>\n

Proto je u\u017eite\u010dn\u00e9 neza\u010d\u00ednat ot\u00e1zkou, jak si z\u00edskat \u0161\u00e9fa na svou stranu, ale sp\u00ed\u0161: na z\u00e1klad\u011b \u010deho konkr\u00e9tn\u011b ke ztr\u00e1t\u011b d\u016fv\u011bry doch\u00e1z\u00ed? Bez tohoto rozli\u0161en\u00ed se snadno dostanete do obrann\u00e9ho re\u017eimu a budete reagovat na svou interpretaci situace, ne na realitu.<\/p>\n

Co d\u011blat, kdy\u017e mi \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed – nejd\u0159\u00edv odd\u011blte fakta od v\u00fdkladu<\/h2>\n

V t\u00e9to situaci se velmi rychle sm\u00edch\u00e1 n\u011bkolik rovin dohromady. Co \u0161\u00e9f skute\u010dn\u011b \u0159ekl nebo ud\u011blal. Co si o tom mysl\u00edte vy. A co to ve v\u00e1s spou\u0161t\u00ed. Pokud to nerozli\u0161\u00edte, budete jednat z tenze, ne z p\u0159esnosti.<\/p>\n

Fakta mohou vypadat takto: t\u0159ikr\u00e1t po sob\u011b cht\u011bl p\u0159eposlat komunikaci p\u0159ed odesl\u00e1n\u00edm, na porad\u011b opravil v\u00e1\u0161 odhad p\u0159ed t\u00fdmem, zadal stejn\u00fd \u00fakol i kolegovi, ani\u017e v\u00e1m to vysv\u011btlil. To jsou pozorovateln\u00e9 jevy. Interpretace zn\u00ed jinak: mysl\u00ed si, \u017ee jsem neschopn\u00fd, chce m\u011b odstavit, d\u011bl\u00e1 to schv\u00e1ln\u011b, u\u017e m\u011b nem\u00e1 r\u00e1d. N\u011bkter\u00e9 interpretace mohou b\u00fdt pravdiv\u00e9, ale bez ov\u011b\u0159en\u00ed jsou to st\u00e1le interpretace.<\/p>\n

Tohle rozli\u0161en\u00ed nen\u00ed slov\u00ed\u010dka\u0159en\u00ed. Je to z\u00e1klad pro dal\u0161\u00ed krok. Pokud budete mluvit jen z pocitu k\u0159ivdy, druh\u00e1 strana se sp\u00ed\u0161 zat\u00e1hne nebo p\u0159ejde do obhajoby. Pokud pojmenujete konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed situace a jejich dopad, vytv\u00e1\u0159\u00edte prostor pro p\u0159esn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed rozhovor.<\/p>\n

T\u0159i nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed d\u016fvody, pro\u010d d\u016fv\u011bra sl\u00e1bne<\/h2>\n

N\u011bkdy je p\u0159\u00ed\u010dina z\u0159ejm\u00e1. Stal se konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed p\u0159e\u0161lap, byla chyba v odhadu, informace se zdr\u017eela nebo se n\u011bco neuhl\u00eddalo. Pak m\u00e1 smysl mluvit p\u0159\u00edmo o tom, co se stalo, co jste z toho vyvodili a jak p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b podobn\u00e9 riziko o\u0161et\u0159\u00edte.<\/p>\n

\u010casto ale nejde o jednu chybu. D\u016fv\u011bra sl\u00e1bne kv\u016fli opakovan\u00e9mu vzorci. M\u016f\u017ee j\u00edt o p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 obecnou komunikaci, nejasn\u00e9 z\u00e1v\u011bry, nedota\u017een\u00e9 p\u0159ed\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed informac\u00ed, obrann\u00fd t\u00f3n nebo sklon uklid\u0148ovat situaci d\u0159\u00edv, ne\u017e je jasn\u00e9, co je skute\u010dn\u00fd probl\u00e9m. Z va\u0161\u00ed strany to m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt dob\u0159e m\u00edn\u011bn\u00e1 snaha situaci zvl\u00e1dnout. Z pohledu \u0161\u00e9fa to ale m\u016f\u017ee p\u016fsobit jako nep\u0159esnost nebo uh\u00fdb\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n

T\u0159et\u00ed mo\u017enost je nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Ned\u016fv\u011bra nevznik\u00e1 prim\u00e1rn\u011b z va\u0161eho v\u00fdkonu, ale z nastaven\u00ed druh\u00e9 strany. N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed vedouc\u00ed kontroluj\u00ed nadm\u011brn\u011b bez ohledu na kvalitu lid\u00ed kolem sebe. Pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed m\u00edt v\u011bci pod dohledem, \u0161patn\u011b deleguj\u00ed nebo pracuj\u00ed z vlastn\u00ed \u00fazkosti. To neznamen\u00e1, \u017ee s t\u00edm nejde nic d\u011blat. Znamen\u00e1 to ale, \u017ee nesta\u010d\u00ed jen “b\u00fdt lep\u0161\u00ed”. Je pot\u0159eba jinak nastavit komunikaci a hranice.<\/p>\n

Jak o tom mluvit, aby se situace neposunula k obhajob\u011b<\/h2>\n

Rozhovor se \u0161\u00e9fem<\/a> m\u00e1 smysl tehdy, kdy\u017e nejdete \u017e\u00e1dat uji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed, ale vyjasnit realitu. Rozd\u00edl je z\u00e1sadn\u00ed. Pokud \u0159eknete: \u201eM\u00e1m pocit, \u017ee mi nev\u011b\u0159\u00edte,\u201c druh\u00e1 strana m\u016f\u017ee snadno odpov\u011bd\u011bt: \u201eTo nen\u00ed pravda.\u201c A jste v rovin\u011b pocit proti pocitu.<\/p>\n

P\u0159esn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed b\u00fdv\u00e1 popsat opakuj\u00edc\u00ed se situace. Nap\u0159\u00edklad \u017ee v posledn\u00edch t\u00fddnech doch\u00e1z\u00ed k opakovan\u00e9mu vracen\u00ed v\u00fdstup\u016f bez jasn\u00fdch krit\u00e9ri\u00ed, k dvoj\u00edmu ov\u011b\u0159ov\u00e1n\u00ed nebo k zad\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed \u00fakol\u016f mimo standardn\u00ed domluvu. A pak p\u0159idat ot\u00e1zku, kter\u00e1 sm\u011b\u0159uje k realit\u011b: Co konkr\u00e9tn\u011b ve va\u0161em zp\u016fsobu pr\u00e1ce bud\u00ed nejistotu? Co pot\u0159ebuje vid\u011bt jinak, aby v\u00e1m mohl nechat v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed prostor?<\/p>\n

Tento typ ot\u00e1zky nen\u00ed slabost. Je to zp\u016fsob, jak dostat nejasn\u00e9 nap\u011bt\u00ed do konkr\u00e9tn\u00edho r\u00e1mce. Z\u00e1rove\u0148 t\u00edm ukazujete, \u017ee unesete zp\u011btnou vazbu bez okam\u017eit\u00e9 obrany. To samo o sob\u011b m\u016f\u017ee \u010d\u00e1st d\u016fv\u011bry obnovit.<\/p>\n

M\u00e1 to ale podm\u00ednku. Neptejte se, pokud ve skute\u010dnosti nejste p\u0159ipraveni sly\u0161et odpov\u011b\u010f. Jestli u\u017e do rozhovoru vstupujete s p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010den\u00edm, \u017ee probl\u00e9m je v\u00fdhradn\u011b na druh\u00e9 stran\u011b, rozhovor se rychle uzav\u0159e.<\/p>\n

Kdy m\u00e1 smysl upravit vlastn\u00ed jedn\u00e1n\u00ed<\/h2>\n

Pokud zjist\u00edte, \u017ee d\u016fv\u011bru oslabuj\u00ed konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed opakuj\u00edc\u00ed se momenty, je na m\u00edst\u011b upravit formu, ne jen z\u00e1m\u011br. \u010cast\u00fd omyl je p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010den\u00ed, \u017ee \u201ev\u017edy\u0165 to p\u0159ece mysl\u00edm spr\u00e1vn\u011b\u201c mus\u00ed sta\u010dit. Nesta\u010d\u00ed. V pracovn\u00edm vztahu se d\u016fv\u011bra neop\u00edr\u00e1 o \u00famysl, ale o \u010ditelnost.<\/p>\n

Mo\u017en\u00e1 odv\u00e1d\u00edte dobrou pr\u00e1ci, ale ned\u00e1v\u00e1te pr\u016fb\u011b\u017en\u011b v\u011bd\u011bt, v jak\u00e9 f\u00e1zi v\u011bci jsou. Mo\u017en\u00e1 um\u00edte \u0159e\u0161it probl\u00e9my, ale oz\u00fdv\u00e1te se a\u017e ve chv\u00edli, kdy je situace napjat\u00e1. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jste samostatn\u00ed, ale \u0161\u00e9f nev\u00ed, podle jak\u00e9 logiky rozhodujete. V takov\u00e9 chv\u00edli nepom\u016f\u017ee v\u00edce snahy. Pom\u016f\u017ee v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed p\u0159edv\u00eddatelnost.<\/p>\n

To v praxi znamen\u00e1 stru\u010dn\u011bji r\u00e1movat postup, hl\u00e1sit rizika d\u0159\u00edv, ne\u017e p\u0159erostou, a uzav\u00edrat komunikaci jasn\u00fdm doporu\u010den\u00edm nebo rozhodnut\u00edm. Ne kv\u016fli dojmu. Kv\u016fli tomu, \u017ee druh\u00e1 strana pot\u0159ebuje rozum\u011bt va\u0161emu uva\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed, ne jen v\u00fdsledku.<\/p>\n

Kdy probl\u00e9m nen\u00ed jen v pr\u00e1ci, ale i ve va\u0161em vzorci<\/h2>\n

Situace, kdy v\u00e1m \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u010dasto zas\u00e1hne citliv\u00e9 m\u00edsto. Zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 pokud jste zvykl\u00ed n\u00e9st odpov\u011bdnost a fungovat spolehliv\u011b. Pro n\u011bkoho je to jen provozn\u00ed probl\u00e9m. Pro jin\u00e9ho se okam\u017eit\u011b aktivuje star\u0161\u00ed vzorec: mus\u00edm si zaslou\u017eit d\u016fv\u011bru, nesm\u00edm ud\u011blat chybu, kdy\u017e m\u011b n\u011bkdo zpochybn\u00ed, znamen\u00e1 to, \u017ee selh\u00e1v\u00e1m<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Pr\u00e1v\u011b tady se pracovn\u00ed situace za\u010dne zbyte\u010dn\u011b zhor\u0161ovat. \u010clov\u011bk se bu\u010f p\u0159izp\u016fsob\u00ed a\u017e p\u0159\u00edli\u0161, za\u010dne se p\u0159et\u011b\u017eovat a ztr\u00e1c\u00ed p\u0159esnost. Nebo p\u0159ejde do tvrdosti, chladn\u00e9 distance a skryt\u00e9 opozice. V obou p\u0159\u00edpadech u\u017e nereaguje jen na aktu\u00e1ln\u00edho \u0161\u00e9fa, ale i na to, co v n\u011bm situace spustila.<\/p>\n

To nen\u00ed psychologizov\u00e1n\u00ed pro efekt. Je to praktick\u00e1 v\u011bc. Dokud nepozn\u00e1te, co p\u0159esn\u011b se ve v\u00e1s aktivuje, bude se v\u00e1m t\u011b\u017eko volit adekv\u00e1tn\u00ed reakce. Pod tlakem se toti\u017e v\u011bt\u0161ina lid\u00ed nevrac\u00ed k tomu nejlep\u0161\u00edmu, co um\u00ed. Vrac\u00ed se k tomu, co maj\u00ed nejv\u00edc zautomatizovan\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Co d\u011blat, kdy\u017e \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed dlouhodob\u011b a nic se nem\u011bn\u00ed<\/h2>\n

Ne ka\u017ed\u00e1 situace se d\u00e1 opravit dobr\u00fdm rozhovorem a lep\u0161\u00ed strukturou komunikace. N\u011bkdy ud\u011bl\u00e1te pot\u0159ebn\u00e9 kroky, vyjasn\u00edte o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed, zm\u011bn\u00edte zp\u016fsob pr\u00e1ce, a p\u0159esto se ned\u016fv\u011bra dr\u017e\u00ed. Pak je na m\u00edst\u011b pod\u00edvat se st\u0159\u00edzliv\u011b na to, jestli nejde o vztahov\u00e9 nebo syst\u00e9mov\u00e9 nastaven\u00ed, kter\u00e9 se m\u011bnit nebude.<\/p>\n

Pozn\u00e1te to podle toho, \u017ee krit\u00e9ria z\u016fst\u00e1vaj\u00ed pohybliv\u00e1, zp\u011btn\u00e1 vazba je nejasn\u00e1 nebo rozporn\u00e1, prostor pro samostatnost se nevrac\u00ed ani po zjevn\u00e9 n\u00e1prav\u011b a komunikace v\u00e1s dr\u017e\u00ed v trval\u00e9 nejistot\u011b. V takov\u00e9m prost\u0159ed\u00ed nen\u00ed hlavn\u00ed ot\u00e1zka, jak si kone\u010dn\u011b z\u00edskat d\u016fv\u011bru. Hlavn\u00ed ot\u00e1zka je, kolik energie v\u00e1s stoj\u00ed fungovat v syst\u00e9mu, kde d\u016fv\u011bra nen\u00ed realisticky dostupn\u00e1.<\/p>\n

To neznamen\u00e1 odch\u00e1zet p\u0159i prvn\u00edm nap\u011bt\u00ed. Znamen\u00e1 to nep\u0159esv\u011bd\u010dovat se donekone\u010dna, \u017ee kdy\u017e budete je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159esn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, klidn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed a v\u00fdkonn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed<\/a>, zm\u011bn\u00edte dynamiku, kter\u00e1 je postaven\u00e1 jinak. N\u011bkdy je zral\u00e9 \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed upravit spolupr\u00e1ci. A n\u011bkdy si p\u0159iznat, \u017ee probl\u00e9m u\u017e nen\u00ed v jednotliv\u00e9 situaci, ale v prost\u0159ed\u00ed.<\/p>\n

U\u017eite\u010dn\u00e9 vod\u00edtko je jednoduch\u00e9: poctiv\u011b se pod\u00edvejte, co je ve va\u0161\u00ed moci zm\u011bnit, co se skute\u010dn\u011b po zm\u011bn\u011b h\u00fdbe a co z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1 stejn\u00e9 bez ohledu na va\u0161e \u00fasil\u00ed. Tam za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 realita. A pr\u00e1v\u011b od n\u00ed se d\u00e1 znovu op\u0159\u00edt vlastn\u00ed \u00fasudek.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Co d\u011blat, kdy\u017e mi \u0161\u00e9f nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed? Jak odd\u011blit fakta od domn\u011bnek, upravit komunikaci a vr\u00e1tit do vztahu v pr\u00e1ci v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed d\u016fv\u011bru a klid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":32601,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vzorce-chovani-a-reakce"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}