N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed nep\u016fsob\u00ed navenek jako ti, kte\u0159\u00ed by pot\u0159ebovali pomoc. Funguj\u00ed. Chod\u00ed do \u0161koly, odpov\u00eddaj\u00ed, n\u011bco zvl\u00e1daj\u00ed, n\u011bkdy se i usm\u00edvaj\u00ed. P\u0159esto se v nich postupn\u011b hromad\u00ed tlak, kter\u00fd nen\u00ed na prvn\u00ed pohled vid\u011bt. Pr\u00e1v\u011b tam m\u016f\u017ee m\u00edt kou\u010dink pro teenagery Praha sv\u00e9 m\u00edsto – ne jako oprava d\u00edt\u011bte, ale jako prostor, kde se d\u00e1 p\u0159esn\u011bji pochopit, co se s n\u00edm d\u011bje.<\/p>\n
\u010casto nejde o jeden probl\u00e9m. Sp\u00ed\u0161 o s\u00e9rii drobn\u00fdch moment\u016f, kter\u00e9 se za\u010dnou skl\u00e1dat do n\u011b\u010deho t\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00edho. Dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed po rozhovoru s rodi\u010dem nev\u00ed, jestli byl p\u0159ecitliv\u011bl\u00fd, nebo jestli se ho n\u011bco skute\u010dn\u011b dotklo. Ve \u0161kole funguje, ale doma je podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u00fd a uzav\u0159en\u00fd. Ve vztaz\u00edch s vrstevn\u00edky se p\u0159izp\u016fsobuje v\u00edc, ne\u017e mu je p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9, a pak s\u00e1m nech\u00e1pe, pro\u010d se c\u00edt\u00ed vy\u010derpan\u011b nebo zahanben\u011b.<\/p>\n
Tohle b\u00fdv\u00e1 f\u00e1ze, kdy okol\u00ed snadno sklouzne ke zkratce. Je l\u00edn\u00fd. Je moc citliv\u00e1. Je to puberta. Jen\u017ee pr\u00e1v\u011b takov\u00e9 zjednodu\u0161en\u00ed n\u011bkdy p\u0159ekryje podstatnou v\u011bc: dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed ztr\u00e1c\u00ed jistotu ve vlastn\u00edm vn\u00edm\u00e1n\u00ed. A kdy\u017e \u010dlov\u011bk p\u0159est\u00e1v\u00e1 v\u011b\u0159it tomu, co c\u00edt\u00ed, mysl\u00ed nebo vid\u00ed, neza\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 probl\u00e9m u v\u00fdkonu. Za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 u orientace v sob\u011b.<\/p>\n
Smysl to m\u00e1 hlavn\u011b tehdy, kdy\u017e dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed nepot\u0159ebuje dal\u0161\u00ed rady, ale p\u0159esn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed mapu toho, co pro\u017e\u00edv\u00e1. Ne motivaci. Ne tlak na v\u00fdkon. Ne vysv\u011btlov\u00e1n\u00ed, jak by to m\u011bl m\u00edt. Pot\u0159ebuje rozli\u0161it, co je jeho vlastn\u00ed reakce, co u\u017e je d\u016fsledek dlouhodob\u00e9ho tlaku a co p\u0159evzal z prost\u0159ed\u00ed tak \u010dasto, a\u017e to za\u010dal pova\u017eovat za sebe.<\/p>\n
V praxi to m\u016f\u017ee vypadat nen\u00e1padn\u011b. Sedmn\u00e1ctilet\u00e1 d\u00edvka \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u017ee je asi probl\u00e9m v n\u00ed, proto\u017ee se j\u00ed ve skupin\u011b kamar\u00e1d\u016f opakovan\u011b d\u011bje tot\u00e9\u017e. Neum\u00ed p\u0159esn\u011b popsat co, jen v\u00ed, \u017ee po setk\u00e1n\u00edch b\u00fdv\u00e1 nejist\u00e1, p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00ed, jestli n\u011bco nezkazila, a sna\u017e\u00ed se b\u00fdt p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b je\u0161t\u011b m\u00e9n\u011b vid\u011bt. Nebo \u0161estn\u00e1ctilet\u00fd kluk tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee je v\u0161echno v pohod\u011b, ale u\u017e n\u011bkolik m\u011bs\u00edc\u016f odkl\u00e1d\u00e1 d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 v\u011bci, vyh\u00fdb\u00e1 se rozhodnut\u00edm a p\u0159i ka\u017ed\u00e9m tlaku reaguje podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u011b nebo \u00fapln\u00fdm sta\u017een\u00edm.<\/p>\n
Takov\u00e9 situace nejsou automaticky klinick\u00fd probl\u00e9m. Ale nejsou ani banalita. Jsou to momenty, kdy se v dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edm za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 vytv\u00e1\u0159et vztah k sob\u011b sam\u00e9mu. A ten se netvo\u0159\u00ed jen z toho, co zvl\u00e1dne, ale i z toho, jak interpretuje vlastn\u00ed selh\u00e1n\u00ed, konflikt, odm\u00edtnut\u00ed nebo tlak.<\/p>\n
Kdy\u017e se \u0159ekne kou\u010dink pro dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed, \u010d\u00e1st lid\u00ed si p\u0159edstav\u00ed jemn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed verzi v\u00fdkonov\u00e9ho veden\u00ed. N\u011bkdo teenagerovi pom\u016f\u017ee stanovit c\u00edle, zorganizovat \u010das a zv\u00fd\u0161it sebed\u016fv\u011bru. Jen\u017ee to je jen jedna mo\u017en\u00e1 p\u0159edstava – a v mnoha p\u0159\u00edpadech ta m\u00e9n\u011b u\u017eite\u010dn\u00e1.<\/p>\n
U citliv\u011bj\u0161\u00edch nebo dlouhodob\u011b p\u0159et\u00ed\u017een\u00fdch dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edch toti\u017e neb\u00fdv\u00e1 hlavn\u00ed probl\u00e9m v tom, \u017ee by nev\u011bd\u011bli, co by m\u011bli d\u011blat. \u010casto to v\u011bd\u00ed a\u017e p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 dob\u0159e. Jen se v nich mezit\u00edm nahromadilo tolik o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed, ciz\u00edch interpretac\u00ed a vnit\u0159n\u00edho tlaku, \u017ee u\u017e nedok\u00e1\u017eou rozli\u0161it, co je skute\u010dn\u00e9 a co je jen nau\u010den\u00e1 reakce.<\/p>\n
Proto m\u00e1 smysl pr\u00e1ce, kter\u00e1 jde jinudy. P\u0159esn\u00e9 pojmenov\u00e1n\u00ed situace. Zastaven\u00ed v momentu, kde se dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 ztr\u00e1cet. Odd\u011blen\u00ed fakt\u016f od domn\u011bnek. V\u0161\u00edm\u00e1n\u00ed si toho, co se d\u011bje v t\u011ble, v komunikaci, ve vztaz\u00edch, v rozhodov\u00e1n\u00ed. Ne proto, aby se teenager \u201ezlep\u0161il\u201c, ale aby se v sob\u011b p\u0159estal m\u00edjet.<\/p>\n
Tady je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00fd i rozd\u00edl mezi kou\u010dinkem a terapi\u00ed. N\u011bkdy je hranice jasn\u00e1, jindy m\u00e9n\u011b. Pokud je p\u0159\u00edtomn\u00e1 v\u00e1\u017en\u011bj\u0161\u00ed \u00fazkost, sebepo\u0161kozov\u00e1n\u00ed, poruchy p\u0159\u00edjmu potravy, z\u00e1va\u017en\u00fd rozpad fungov\u00e1n\u00ed nebo trauma, je na m\u00edst\u011b terapeutick\u00e1 \u010di psychiatrick\u00e1 p\u00e9\u010de. Kou\u010dink nen\u00ed n\u00e1hradou l\u00e9\u010dby. D\u00e1v\u00e1 smysl tam, kde je dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed schopn\u00fd reflexe a pot\u0159ebuje oporu v orientaci, rozhodov\u00e1n\u00ed a zm\u011bn\u011b konkr\u00e9tn\u00edch vzorc\u016f.<\/p>\n
Mnoho rodi\u010d\u016f vid\u00ed jen v\u00fdsledek. Dcera se zav\u0159e v pokoji. Syn odpov\u00edd\u00e1 \u00fase\u010dn\u011b. Zn\u00e1mky kol\u00edsaj\u00ed. P\u0159ibylo nap\u011bt\u00ed. Ale samotn\u00e1 dynamika b\u00fdv\u00e1 jemn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed.<\/p>\n
Dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed se m\u016f\u017ee dlouho sna\u017eit udr\u017eet obraz, \u017ee v\u0161echno zvl\u00e1d\u00e1. P\u0159izp\u016fsobuje se tomu, co se od n\u011bj \u010dek\u00e1. V part\u011b, doma, ve \u0161kole. Postupn\u011b ale ztr\u00e1c\u00ed kontakt s t\u00edm, co mu vlastn\u011b je a nen\u00ed p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9. Kdy\u017e pak p\u0159ijde konflikt, nebr\u00e1n\u00ed se. Sp\u00ed\u0161 za\u010dne analyzovat sebe. Jestli nereagoval moc. Jestli si to nevymyslel. Jestli nen\u00ed chyba v tom, \u017ee n\u011bco pot\u0159ebuje.<\/p>\n
Tohle je velmi podstatn\u00fd moment. Ne kv\u016fli jedn\u00e9 h\u00e1dce nebo jednomu selh\u00e1n\u00ed, ale kv\u016fli vnit\u0159n\u00edmu nastaven\u00ed, kter\u00e9 se z toho tvo\u0159\u00ed. \u010clov\u011bk se u\u010d\u00ed ned\u016fv\u011b\u0159ovat vlastn\u00edmu sign\u00e1lu. A pozd\u011bji pak vstupuje do vztah\u016f, rozhodnut\u00ed i pracovn\u00edho prost\u0159ed\u00ed s pocitem, \u017ee nejd\u0159\u00edv mus\u00ed zpochybnit sebe, teprve potom realitu.<\/p>\n
Pr\u00e1ce s dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edm proto \u010dasto neza\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 u ot\u00e1zky \u201e\u010deho chce\u0161 dos\u00e1hnout\u201c, ale sp\u00ed\u0161 u ot\u00e1zky \u201eco p\u0159esn\u011b se stane t\u011bsn\u011b p\u0159edt\u00edm, ne\u017e p\u0159estane\u0161 v\u011b\u0159it tomu, co c\u00edt\u00ed\u0161\u201c. V t\u00e9hle p\u0159esnosti b\u00fdv\u00e1 velk\u00e1 \u00faleva. Ne proto, \u017ee probl\u00e9m zmiz\u00ed, ale proto\u017ee p\u0159estane b\u00fdt mlhav\u00fd.<\/p>\n
Bezpe\u010dn\u00fd prostor nen\u00ed automaticky mil\u00fd prostor. N\u011bkdy je bezpe\u010dn\u00e9 pr\u00e1v\u011b to, \u017ee se v\u011bci nep\u0159ikr\u00e1\u0161luj\u00ed. \u017de dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed nemus\u00ed b\u00fdt zaj\u00edmav\u00fd, chytr\u00fd ani spolupracuj\u00edc\u00ed spr\u00e1vn\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem. \u017de nemus\u00ed rychle doj\u00edt k vd\u011b\u010dnosti nebo n\u00e1hledu. M\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt zmaten\u00fd, podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u00fd, uzav\u0159en\u00fd nebo skeptick\u00fd.<\/p>\n
U\u017eite\u010dn\u00e1 pr\u00e1ce stoj\u00ed na tom, \u017ee se netla\u010d\u00ed na v\u00fdsledek d\u0159\u00edv, ne\u017e je pojmenovan\u00e1 situace. Kdy\u017e teenager \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 \u201enev\u00edm\u201c, nemus\u00ed to b\u00fdt odpor. N\u011bkdy jen nikdy nedostal prostor zastavit se dost na to, aby sv\u00e9 vnit\u0159n\u00ed d\u011bn\u00ed v\u016fbec rozli\u0161il. A pokud je zvykl\u00fd, \u017ee dosp\u011bl\u00ed rychle vysv\u011btluj\u00ed, hodnot\u00ed nebo rad\u00ed, m\u016f\u017ee mu trvat, ne\u017e za\u010dne mluvit p\u0159esn\u011bji.<\/p>\n
V programu pro dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed ve v\u011bku 16 a\u017e 19 let, jako je nap\u0159\u00edklad Compass, d\u00e1v\u00e1 smysl pr\u00e1v\u011b tahle kombinace struktury a jemnosti. Nechat prostor tomu, co se skute\u010dn\u011b d\u011bje, a p\u0159itom nez\u016fstat jen u popisu. Postupn\u011b se u\u010dit vid\u011bt vlastn\u00ed vzorce, rozum\u011bt reakc\u00edm a podle toho upravovat jedn\u00e1n\u00ed v konkr\u00e9tn\u00edch situac\u00edch.<\/p>\n
Kdy\u017e rodi\u010d hled\u00e1 podporu pro teenagera, b\u00fdv\u00e1 s\u00e1m pod tlakem. Chce pomoct, ale \u010dasto u\u017e nev\u00ed jak. N\u011bco c\u00edt\u00ed, jen to neum\u00ed p\u0159esn\u011b uchopit. N\u011bkdy m\u00e1 dojem, \u017ee d\u00edt\u011b ztr\u00e1c\u00ed p\u016fdu pod nohama. Jindy si nen\u00ed jist\u00fd, jestli situaci nep\u0159eh\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n
Pr\u00e1v\u011b tahle nejistota je pochopiteln\u00e1. U dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edch se v\u00fdvojov\u00e9 zm\u011bny, vztahov\u00e9 nap\u011bt\u00ed a tlak prost\u0159ed\u00ed p\u0159irozen\u011b m\u00edchaj\u00ed dohromady. Ne v\u0161echno je alarmuj\u00edc\u00ed. Z\u00e1rove\u0148 ale nen\u00ed u\u017eite\u010dn\u00e9 \u010dekat a\u017e na okam\u017eik, kdy se pot\u00ed\u017ee pln\u011b rozvinou.<\/p>\n
D\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 b\u00fdv\u00e1 sledovat sp\u00ed\u0161 opakuj\u00edc\u00ed se vzorec ne\u017e jeden v\u00fdkyv. Zda se teenager dlouhodob\u011b stahuje ze vztah\u016f. Zda po b\u011b\u017en\u00fdch interakc\u00edch opakovan\u011b z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1 v pocitu viny nebo zmatku. Zda p\u0159est\u00e1v\u00e1 v\u011b\u0159it vlastn\u00edmu \u00fasudku. Zda se jeho rozhodov\u00e1n\u00ed p\u0159esouv\u00e1 od volby k paral\u00fdze. Pr\u00e1v\u011b opakov\u00e1n\u00ed ukazuje, \u017ee nejde jen o \u0161patn\u00fd t\u00fdden.<\/p>\n
U rodi\u010d\u016f je nav\u00edc n\u011bkdy t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9 p\u0159ijmout, \u017ee pomoc neznamen\u00e1 d\u00edt\u011bti situaci vysv\u011btlit. M\u016f\u017ee znamenat ustoupit z role toho, kdo v\u00ed, a p\u0159ipustit, \u017ee dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed pot\u0159ebuje prostor, kde nebude reagovat hlavn\u011b na rodi\u010dovsk\u00e9 obavy, o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed nebo interpretace.<\/p>\n
Kdy\u017e n\u011bkdo hled\u00e1 kou\u010dink pro teenagery v Praze, nejde jen o m\u011bsto jako takov\u00e9. U \u010d\u00e1sti rodin je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e1 mo\u017enost osobn\u00edho setk\u00e1n\u00ed. U dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edch, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou zahlcen\u00ed online prost\u0159ed\u00edm, b\u00fdv\u00e1 fyzick\u00fd prostor p\u0159ekvapiv\u011b podstatn\u00fd. Odd\u011bluje b\u011b\u017en\u00fd provoz od m\u00edsta, kde se d\u00e1 chv\u00edli skute\u010dn\u011b p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161let.<\/p>\n
Z\u00e1rove\u0148 ale neplat\u00ed, \u017ee osobn\u011b je v\u017edy lep\u0161\u00ed. N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed teenage\u0159i mluv\u00ed p\u0159esn\u011bji online, proto\u017ee se c\u00edt\u00ed m\u00e9n\u011b pod tlakem. U jin\u00fdch je osobn\u00ed kontakt z\u00e1sadn\u00ed. Tohle je jeden z moment\u016f, kde nefunguje univerz\u00e1ln\u00ed pravidlo. Forma m\u00e1 slou\u017eit pr\u00e1ci, ne naopak.<\/p>\n
Stejn\u011b tak neplat\u00ed, \u017ee kou\u010dink je vhodn\u00fd pro ka\u017ed\u00e9ho dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00edho, kter\u00fd pr\u00e1v\u011b proch\u00e1z\u00ed n\u00e1ro\u010dn\u011bj\u0161\u00edm obdob\u00edm. N\u011bkdo pot\u0159ebuje \u010das. N\u011bkdo jin\u00fd jin\u00fd typ p\u00e9\u010de. A n\u011bkdo je v situaci, kdy u\u017e samotn\u00e1 mo\u017enost b\u00fdt br\u00e1n v\u00e1\u017en\u011b a bez zjednodu\u0161en\u00ed z\u00e1sadn\u011b m\u011bn\u00ed, jak se k sob\u011b vztahuje.<\/p>\n
Mo\u017en\u00e1 pr\u00e1v\u011b to je na cel\u00e9 v\u011bci nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Dosp\u00edv\u00e1n\u00ed nen\u00ed jen obdob\u00ed velk\u00fdch emoc\u00ed a prom\u011bn. Je to tak\u00e9 \u010das, kdy si \u010dlov\u011bk za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 skl\u00e1dat odpov\u011b\u010f na ot\u00e1zku, jestli m\u016f\u017ee v\u011b\u0159it tomu, co vn\u00edm\u00e1. A kvalita t\u00e9 odpov\u011bdi \u010dasto ovlivn\u00ed mnohem v\u00edc ne\u017e jednu \u0161koln\u00ed etapu nebo jeden vztah.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kou\u010dink pro teenagery Praha d\u00e1v\u00e1 smysl tam, kde dosp\u00edvaj\u00edc\u00ed ztr\u00e1c\u00ed orientaci v sob\u011b, vztaz\u00edch, tlaku i rozhodov\u00e1n\u00ed. Nejde o motivaci.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-vzorce-chovani-a-reakce"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33883\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinaocadlikova.cz\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}